I found out that I may have cancer as I am highly aneamic. I have found out that there are problems with my pancreas and liver. I have to have regular blood tests according to the doctor at the hospital. Staff here have received a letter from the hospital too.
The head of care told me I could come up to my room. Where I have all my wool beads and patterns to crochet and my television,laptop and tablet. These are just things to occupy my mind.
What I want is to be with my husband and enjoy what time we have left together. I am more interested in going out with our cameras. The 9th of August,we are having a Blessing and renewing our vows and asking for volunteers to use our cameras. I still have another project to do for my husband for our 15th wedding anniversary on the 14th August 2014.
I have been severely depressed too. I have it on several levels. I read that other Biblical figures suffered with it too. I know the LORD'S will; will be done.
I have been blessed but I am upset that I get full quickly and food is left on my plate when there are people starving.
I am watching people I love slowly dying. There is one in particular;who first attacked me like my former neighbour bringing me to tears. However,we became and are friends. I have come to love her dearly and I have seen her deterioate dramatically, since Christmas. However,when she first came here a year and a half ago-she was full of life. She was always singing and dancing. She brought life to the care home.
I know she won't be here in a few months time. The head of care could see how much it was hurting me to see her deterioate and I was not well myself.
I got up to my room and spent time texting my husband on the other side of the city. I am lost without my other half of me,whom is the better half of me. It is cruel what has been done to us and we need to be together. Social Services are looking to get me a social worker. They are looking to get us into sheltered housing. However,a judge gave us illegal ASBO"s and they were given to stop us from being rehoused. However,the judge mistakenly said;"Social Services must never find out what has happened in this court room;"
Now,they know,I told them. I opened up and told them that I want to be with my husband and I told them the truth what I remembered was said in court and the judge agreed.
What happens now;I do not know but I do know that no matter how bad things are that as long as you believe in the LORD and HIS SON that where a door closes;a window opens somewhere else.
I do not go to sleep straight away. I can't sleep. I find it hard to sleep. When I do sleep; I am upset that I did not say my prayers.
I feel at times that I could have done more. I have to crochet three roses for three of the residents. I just have to uplift myself. These new antidepressants take time to get into the system. I just know I need them to start working now. I just want to get back my energy. My husband is the same. We are concerned for the other homeless in the city and the numbers are increasing. My former neighbour acted like she cared for the homeless. She walked away when she knew that we knew this individual.
Please do not look away in disgust at the homeless. The next person could be you. None of us are perfect and property does not mean a thing. What good is it when you are dead. I am trying to leave a part of myself and my husband behind.
In the vastness of it all; I know if I did not have the LORD AND HIS SON in my life then my life could have been a lot worse. All THEY ASK:LOVE THE LORD WITH ALL YOUR HEART,ALL YOUR SOUL AND YOUR MIND AND YOUR NEIGHBOUR AS YOURSELF.
WHY? Because we are one through the salvation of the MESSIAH. When we look at another,we can see parts of ourselves.
YHWH and the MESSIAH,one who gave himself to live among mankind,who gave us salvation and giving us through His Glory the keys to eternal life. He sacrificed himself and to show how we must humble ourselves to the LORD.
His ressurection gave us salvation.
I believe in the Trinity of the FATHER SON AND HOLY GHOST. The three are individual but are one as we are all one.
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